Fewer Stops Than You Think

One of the small but persistent banes of a rideshare driver's existence is the multi-stop ride. As a rule of thunb, we're not making as much when we are stationary, and anything that makes us stationary is, for the most part, Bad. So when passengers want to use us to run errands, it's understandable but not ideal, especially if the amount of time between stops is More Than Zero.

The other night, a woman gets in the car with the very last second mask wear that does not fill your ride share driver with confidence. She proceeds to spend the next 10 minutes on her phone, yelling loudly enough to be heard by rideshare drivers who aren't giving her a ride, and she's got that 200-word vocabulary that just makes me silently start ticking off the number of times she uses a versatile profanity. 

So... she was going to get the three star bum's rush all along.

But that's when I peek in the rear view window because she seems suspiciously loud... yup. Chinley McChinMask, we meet again. 

And no, Dear Readers and Riders, I do not generally confront bad passengers over bad behavior. I'm usually outweighed and outnumbered, and the first rule of rideshare is get home safe. I also have windows down, a three-level mask on, and maybe even a shield. But there's no reason to tempt fate when, well, you don't have to.

So when we get to stop one and she heaves herself into her errand, I drift up a bit to find a parking spot to wait... and after checking to make sure that she hadn't left anything terribly important in the car, end the ride and cite the mask behavior with my sub-3-star review that makes sure that I won't repeat the experience with her in the unfortunate future.

Finally, a use for those stops...

Out Of State Hate

I live about 15 minutes from the border to Pennsylvania. Which means that many times a week, especially if I take all available rides (i.e., what a rideshare platform would prefer that I do), I can leave the state to do the work.

And as soon as I do so... the apps more or less stop working, in that they do not find me any rider from inside the state to take. (Adding to the fun: sometimes an app will log you out and disrupt a consecutive ride bonus, but if you pule to them afterwards and show your time in the platform, they usually change it back on the operator end.)

Needless to say, this blows. Hard. Especially if you run into a streak of people going to, say, Sesame Place or Bristol or Fairless Hills or etc. It blows even more when there are big events going on in Philadelphia.

It also means that I'm constantly using the percentage of rides that I do not accept on these likely out of state riders, and flirting with having just enough taken rides to balance my hourly wage against staying in the good graces of the app.

There is, however, a way that I can *kind of* protect myself, which is this: take the passenger out of state, but give them three stars or less to make sure you don't get them again.

Which... I'm not going to say if I do, because that seems mean and petty and like I'm taking out the failures of a platform on innocent passengers.

Who, um, I'd rather not see again, since they take me out of state...

So, Uber? Lyft?

Fix this nonsense. Make it a priority. I get that you've got legal beef with places like New York City that prevent you from letting every Jersey driver go putter around Manhattan, but honestly, it seems like that town's got better things to worry about right now.

And in the meantime, the good people of Morrisville, PA and upper Bucks County may really start feeling like there's something wrong with the platform, what with the paucity of drivers...

Writer's Exercise

Short ride on a drizzly Sunday afternoon. My pick up is an older woman, ready and waiting, less than five to ten minutes in the car. Works for me, especially as I'm chasing a bonus and looking for short rides.

We pull up to a regional Post Office and she directs me to the employee entrance. As she's getting out of the car, she forcefully gives me two quarters for a tip. I thank her in the same way that I thank everyone who tips me, and she's off

Which leads to the following interpretations for what is, to date, the smallest tip of my career as a ride share driver.

1) It's good math on her part. A little over 10%, given the brevity of the ride.

2) It's quite generous. Nearly 2.5X my global rate, because most people do not tip their rideshare drivers. (Honestly, people. Tip your rideshare drivers. Especially if you aren't on a surge price.)

3) It's a sign of her age, in that it's out of kilter with modern levels. And honestly fine.

4) It's a sign of her personal pride, in that she wants to tip a fellow working person, but is also under financial distress.

5) She's actually annoyed with my level of service, and giving me a tip that's purposefully low.

I'm going with... four, and honestly feeling all kinds of poignancy about it. But your mileage may vary...

Silent All These Months

What's it like to do rideshare during a pandemic?

Reasonably lucrative for a side hustle. But quiet. Really quiet.

I used to drive a lot of college students. Travelers who did routine commutes from New York City. Drinkers. People on expense accounts, out for a night on the town, doing the responsible thing by not driving.

This was all predictable. Surge prices were known, distances were pretty standard. You could bank on pretty consistent hourly rates, cadge a few conversations from people, see your tip revenue rise as you played with people. I'd try a little stand up from time to time, offer water, mints and cough drops, and clean at the start of the night only, for my ratings.

None of that now.

Now, it's essential workers going to warehouses, court houses, fast food restaurants and big box stores. People coming home from the grocery store with supplies. Stragglers at train stations with fairly random drop points. I crack the windows to the point of making things uncomfortable, enforce the mask mandate, and have bought my own spare masks if the fare is without one and looks like they'd actually wear it. I also rank those people low enough so I'm sure I don't get them again.

You can make a lot in an hour, or you can make very little. 

The rideshare platforms have been more and less aggressive in courting drivers. Tips have gone down while ratings have gone up. People are grateful for the service, but they are quiet, and all of them probably make less than I do, so I can hardly blame them.

Most of the time, I don't mind the silence. If I talk, there's more heat in my mask, and I have a three-layer mask that keeps me safe at the sake of comfort. I pinch the metal clasps, perch my glasses further on my nose to cut down the fog, and work more hours than I used to.

I also try not to think about the odds that someone with the virus has already been in the car, has already put me at risk. I try to stay local, because my area has low infection rates outside of nursing homes, and I know the roads (and potholes). I watch the rates. 

Since the pandemic started, and since I've gotten back on the road, here are the numbers.

1,190 rides in 486 hours for $14.5K in gross, $13.5K in net. That's $27 an hour.

Living wage for a ghost.

The Five Types Of Mask Scofflaws

  

5) Chinly McChinMask

The rule is not that you wear a mask, you mooks. It is that you actually cover your breathing holes.

4) Nasal Negator

Well, it's on your face at least. Now if it was only covering the holes you are probably actually breathing through.

3) Mask and Switch

So you were wearing it when you got in the car, but not as soon as I take my eyes off you to drive? Very, very slick. Enjoy those increasingly open windows and the only ride you are ever getting in my car -- or, if the platform is responsive, any other...

2) The Least You Can Do

You say you have one, but you aren't going to wear it until the second you get into the car. Very reassuring. 

1) Mockmask

I've got a two-ply cloth mask with a pocket, and inside the pocket is a medical grade N90. During daylight, I top it off with a plastic face shield. That's because I've driven over a thousand people in my car since the start of the pandemic, and have (somehow?) remained disease-free so far.

So your opinion of my set up is... *extremely* pointless? Really not necessary? Best left unexpressed? 

Yes, yes and yes...