|Portrait of the writer/driver as a young Plague Doctor|
Enjoy the rant in a place that I guess I can write; Zuck's Money Grab seemed to choke on it when I tried to post it there tonight.
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You should go vote on music or take pictures of your pets or decorate your sidewalk with something uplifting.
This could go on for a while. I'm not going to make any friends with it.
Seriously, go look at some cats or something. I should just delete and lead a better example.
Practice safe social media distancing and bail before the asterisks.
Ok then. Here we go.
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After watching the news and thinking things over for an evening, I want a lot of people to do the right thing and kill themselves.
Preferably in places where they won't be found for a while, where animals can get some protein out of them, and no one wastes a hospital bed, ambulance or anyone else's time.
Step back from the current nightmare, and the fact that people still report on business statistics, as if this wasn't the moral equivalent of haggling over the coffin and flowers during the service, as New York City rings up more medical 911 calls in a day since, um, 911.
Step back from the We're Number One moment of taking the title of Most Ill Nation from Italy, Spain and China.
Step back from the idea that we are spending time and money on the idea that cruise ships - CRUISE SHIPS - are in some way deserving of YOUR MONEY (because that's what Tax Dollars are, folks) in a bailout, despite never paying taxes here, and despite being floating petri dishes of environmental horror that helped make all of this worse.
Step back from the idea that blaming a broken system (that wasn't broken) for something that happened three f****** years after That Party took the reins and commenced with all the winning is a sentence that can be said in English, and heard by Americans, without an immediate response involving torches, pitchforks, and multiple forms of fire.
And because life comes in groups of five, step back from the idea that unemployment at 5X any previous bad week, and the ever-growing number of sick and dead, somehow translates into Political Win because lying on camera works, especially when you allow it to be shown without interruption.
Old German joke: What do you get when 11 Germans sit down to dinner with 1 Nazi? 12 Nazis. No idea why that joke comes to mind, really. Great job, as always, Media Enablers.
No, right now, I want you to imagine how this pandemic could be worse.
Imagine that the United States had been the place where COVID-19 launched, rather than one that had a 2-month head start. (That it did next to nothing with, but I digress.)
Imagine that the United States had a supply chain system that meant that after people go to the stores to stock up for weeks to months of house arrest for crimes they did not commit, the stores don't get restocked.
That happens in lots of places, by the way. Makes for a certain energy in the checkout line.
Imagine that our country didn't have a vast and reliable communications system, and a well-established media to spread the word about the virus, and the meagre steps you can take to make yourself slightly safer from it.
Imagine that we weren't, you know, the country where many of the world's richest people live, allowing the rest of us to think that we live in a prosperous and capitalistic nation that functions as a meritocracy. One that should be able to, I don't know, have some goddamned surgical masks and gloves and gowns in stock Just In Case.
Imagine that our borders were dramatically more complicated than two secure lines and two big goddamned oceans.
In other words, imagine that the United States weren't, with the possible exception of being recently smashed into single-mind obedience through the crucible of war (nice timing, South Korea, Singapore and Taiwan! Your past horrors saved you the current one!), not the best possible place to prevent, prepare for, and endure a pandemic in 2020.
Or would be, if we weren't ruled by a minority government that is a cheap facade for thieves.
Remember how Ebola ravaged the nation in 2014? No, you don't, because it didn't. That's when we had a functioning Executive Branch and bureaucracy.
Remember when H1N1 caused the stock market to dump off years of gains in weeks and made us all go into lockdown while we racked up the worst response in the world? No, you don't, because again, 2009. Different people in charge. Competent ones.
And remember the time when health workers ran out of gloves, gowns and masks that in non-Plague times cost less than a per item goddamn dollar in bulk, causing untold numbers of them to pay with their health and possibly lives for taking their Hippocratic Oath seriously?
No, you don't, because that didn't happen in the time before Now.
This is where I should talk about the tests that the rest of the world runs that weren't good enough for Donald, probably because they didn't wet his beak. Or where we talk about how a modicum of cheap tests (mass thermometers to detect fevers might have, you know, kept us from having our lives ruined) or... Yeah, sorry, I'm yelling at bricks again.
That because it doesn't make sense to yell at the President or his spiritual eunuchs. They've long since plugged into the alternate reality where this is all a conspiracy or someone else's fault and why can't we have Game again because I Likes Game and Obama Did Worse Even Though Nothing's Ever Been Worse. (Apologies, people of 1918. Don't think I'm apologizing to very many of you.)
Rather, I'd like to direct this to the people who got paid through all of this, and continue to get paid.
Yup, it's time to well and truly s***can my college major of choice (Journalism!), or at least whatever the crap that's in front of us now is.
You people put him on for unchecked hours.
You gave him free air time, because heaven knows he wasn't dumb or flush enough to buy it.
You cashed all of those checks from all of that cheap programming for the train wreck of the day.
You made him. Even before he turned political, you made him.
And you are still doing it.
So do us all a favor at his next spike the ball in his own end zone while the other players on his team are sick and dying victory dance.
Ask any of the following questions.
But only these.
How do you sleep at night?
Have you ever killed anyone with your own hands, or has it always been outsourced?
What made you like this?
When you wipe your ass after you take a dump, how do you know when one thing begins and the other ends?
Would you kill everyone in this room if you had the chance, rather than admit that you've ever been wrong about anything?
Would you kill anyone who ever voted against, opposed, or in any way showed less than total fawning stoogedom in your presence, if it only weren't so messy and beneath your Rich Boy Dignity?
You've been impeached for manifest corruption, you've helped to trash the planet through climate change acceleration, and you've ruined America's standing in the world, while being the caretaker to a preventable plague that will kill more of us than 9/11. What are you going to do for an encore?
How does it feel to know that you will go down in history, assuming there is any after you, as the worst public figure in the United States, and for that matter, the goddamn Confederacy? (Somewhere, we presume, Charlie Manson and Jim Jones are feeling better about things.)
Does it make you laugh to know how many rubes you are still fooling with this bulls***?
Since this question lasted more than five words and didn't involve anyone performing the verbal equivalent of sucking you off, are you still listening?
Why haven't you stuck a gun in your mouth and improved the ambiance, rather than continuing to draw oxygen that would be better served by literally any other purpose in life?
Yes, I know, I know. Howling into the wind and wearing the cranky pants and ooh, tough guy middle school sized leftist in his basement. Put your money where your words are and engage a zombie instead of performing for the choir.
But, well, this.
Doctors and nurses are dying for the lack of cheap and disposable protection that they should toss aside like tissues. Instead, they are washing and reusing them, and getting the disease and dying.
People like you and me, assuming we're all Americans, are carrying the disease without knowing it, and helping to kill their loved ones. Because they can't get tested, because our government effed up the tests when they might have done some good.
A clear number of people will die a horrible death. Others will die preventable ones, because the hospitals will be overwhelmed.
And all because this unspeakable asshat "won" an election, and because an unconscionable number of my fellow countrymen and women think (or, with the barest of charity, thought) this was all OK.
To put the country in the hands of theives who don't give a damn about anyone but themselves.
Who couldn't prepare for a pandemic with months of spare time and a goddamned playbook left for them by the competent nerds that bounced.
The country is theirs.
And hey, if you take my suggestion about the gun?
It's a quicker death than the plague.
And your last act will actually be in the public interest.