What I think, but do not reply

The ping comes in for a pickup at the train station, and I'm about 10 minutes away. A woman's name in all caps with a lower than usual rating has some yellow flags on it, but I need to bump my acceptance numbers and business is always light after the New Year. I accept the ride and start to make my way to the pick up.

Two minutes later, there's a text from the passenger. "I AM WAITING"

And yes, a kind reply would be to assume age, or newness to the platform, or that she just pressed send too fast and was going to give a location next. 

But kindness is not where my inner (inner?) hack comedy writer lives, so I consider the following replies...

OH NOOO NOT THAT

Teleportation costs extra

I AM DRIVING

Tragic

Enjoy that

And record a voice note to my snarky family looking for other options, all while continuing to make my way to the pickup.

She cancels a minute later, adding a few bucks to the day's take. And, of course, the memories...