Random and Recent

All of these happened, I swear, in the last week.

> Drunken passenger asks me if I smoke meth as part of an overall drunk belligerent strategy to get a rise out of the driver. Sure, because people who drive immaculate hybrid hatchbacks at the speed limit when bars close are just racing on the crystal. 

Note: I also have all of my teeth, unlike my passenger, and the fact that I know this about them also tells you that he wasn't wearing a mask when he asked. During a raging pandemic. Windows down, double mask on, triple vaccinated and three stars for you, some Future Rideshare Driver's problem...

> Drunken passenger asks me to drop them off near but not at their mother's home, because he's (a) got a blunt to finish and (b) she's all mad at him for crashing her car repeatedly, which is (c) why he's using rideshare. Well, points for honesty, and I guess you needed something to think the edge off her anger.

> Angry future passenger calls while I'm driving current happy passenger to say "You Are So Late" twice. I think he believes that Uber is my name, or that I had a massive plan for not being very close to him when he requested the ride. Heartbreakingly, he then canceled, which really showed me. While also putting a cancel fee in my pocket, and freeing me up for closer rides from presumably less crazy people.

> Passenger with an 18-minute ride changes it to a 51-minute ride, because they've missed their train. I'm able to take them to a different station instead, which will save them $40 over the full rideshare ride while keeping me close to him. They are thrilled with this idea and service... and did not tip. (Yes, I checked the log.)

> Pre-Xmas, a small boy wished me the most sincere happy holiday possible. I think he was 3 or 4 years old, and I'm also completely convinced that he was performing for his grandmother to make sure she knew he should be on the Nice List (we exchanged knowing looks). Just because it's a sales pitch doesn't mean it wasn't a good one.

> A passenger discloses he teaches chess. We have a great conversation about it, one that he says he's sorry to have to end, as the ride is coming to a close. I offer to give him my email address, as he also mentions he plays poker and lives in my area (I host a game). He declines, because, well, chess teacher and knows how to act in social circumstances are not exactly matching circles on a Venn diagram...