"Do you want me to use it?"

YOU! FORCED ME TO USE IT!

 A young passenger gets into the car and I tell them about the water and the hand sanitizer. 

They have a unique reaction and question. "Do you want me to use it?"

I shrugged it off and didn't make it awkward, dear reader. The rest of the ride passed without incident. But in retrospect? Kind of wish I had.

Possible reactions...

> Say yes in a very slow and creepy voice. Then ask if it's OK if I watch.

> Say yes, because they are then contractually obligated to tip.

> Confess that they've thwarted my scheme, and I've gotten away with it for so many years.

> Say yes, because things go badly when people try to eat it.

> Say yes, because I make my own. The critical ingredient is my dog's tears. Do you like it? DO YOU REALLY LIKE IT?

> Say I don't care, because I've lost the will to live and can't care one way or the other. Let's drive.

> Say yes, because if they don't, Daddy George Soros will be ever so angry.

> Get way too intense and say no, I *need* them to use it.

> Just start speaking in a made-up foreign language, a la Andy Kaufman in "Taxi", because their question clearly broke my brain.

> Spend the rest of the trip chanting numbers, since language has clearly failed us as a species, and it's time to just rely on something that can't produce replies like that one any more...