Snow, Snow, Go Away

A moment inside the hustle. Rideshare drivers are mostly paid in three ways.

1) Time spent driving the passenger. Simple, not all that high. Why we want rides to end where the next ride would begin.

2) Distance traveled during that time. Faster is better. Why your driver is not a big fan of you making them wait, and why your driver is usually a little more aggressive than the average driver. (Not me, particularly. I'm older and more risk-adverse, and a traffic ticket would ruin the hustle for a long time.)

3) Promotions. Most often, for completed rides during a short frame of time, but sometimes also for "streaks" of accepted rides, or rides during a time or place of high demand. 

We are also paid in some cases when a passenger cancels, reimbursed for damages incurred, and tipping. But that's not what I want to cover here. Promotions are the biggest swing moment in any rideshare driver's week, and what we're all hoping to match.

The number of rides completed is where an unexpected amount of Drama comes in, because the driver has no real control over how many ride requests they get, or how long those ride rides will take. We can influence these by the rides we accept, where and when we drive and activate the app, and so on -- but that control is tenuous at best. We also only can drive so many hours in the day, either from the app or reality restricting us.

We also, of course, have no control over the weather. Or when a massive snowstorm will make travel unsafe and uncommon. Which leads me to discuss my weekend, and why I'm writing this on a Sunday afternoon, rather than engaging in the hustle.

Currently for me and in my area, Uber lets drivers set a target for the number of rides they expect to complete over a time period. These periods are for weekdays and weekends, and have a direct relation to similar programs for Lyft. The majority of rideshare drivers work for both platforms, because it's not like these companies are paying us for exclusivity, health care benefits, or a dime more than what will get us in the car to provide service. It's a remarkably efficient / cutthroat operation, and tends to inspire similar behavior from drivers.

Knowing that my marketing clients were quiet at the moment, I committed to a *high* amount of work this weekend. At the 70 ride count, this would translate to one bonus rate. If I got to 90, it would be 15% more. 

I completed the 70 ride requirement this morning, just before the snow started. Had the snow not arrived for, say, another 8-10 hours, the 90 mark would have likely fell as well. So the timing of the snow has cost me hundreds of dollars. (Not going to disclose the exact amount, because it's an estimate and there's no guarantee I'd have gotten all the rides before the clock ran out, but, still -- hundreds of dollars.)

Not to mention the enforced 2-3 days off that's going to occur until the storm passes and the roads clear. Which, hopefully, will also coincide with work from the consulting clients filling my days. Or an unlikely weakening of the storm.

And as for the corollary of why not just drive in the snow, especially when the surge prices for such activity might spike and desperate passengers will pay...

Tempting, but no. I'm here to grind, not gamble.

And grind my teeth at weather forecasts.

A Brief Note Of Appreciation To People I Don't Write About

Occasionally, you get passengers that want to hear whackadoodle rider stories. By the way, excellent rider move, especially if it's late at night -- a driver is not going to get drowsy or you while they are telling a story.

That's a big reason why this blog exists, really. I've found it fun and mildly profitable to get value out of unvalued experiences, using it for the Com Oh Dee and ad revenue. (Click on the ads! They are targeted for my pleasure.)

When I disclose this, sometimes people want to know if I'm going to write about them, too. The answer is, well, almost never.

Why? Well, happy stories are kind of dull, honestly. I had a great conversation with someone who shares an interest with me. A passenger thought I was funny or that the car was well taken care of or that I said something meaningful. I was able to provide comfort to someone having a bad day. 

Yeah, I'm bored writing that, so I can't imagine you're going to be into reading it.

Which usually leads a few folks (OK, the fun and drunken kinds) to take it as some sort of challenge to say or do something that will make the blog...

And, well, Life Is Not A Video Game, and we don't get to both press the reset button after our over the top attempt at humor falls flat.

So if you are disappointed by me not writing about you...

Well, read the rest of the blog, and ask yourself the following question.

Are you sure you want to be in the company of the whackadoodles?

You Shouldn't Be Doing This... In Princeton

The ping comes in Princeton. Not too far away, not too long of a drive. But the rider's rating is a little low. Worrisome. I take it anyway.

A word about Princeton, which is to say the wealthiest part of New Jersey. It's also a very high risk / high reward place to do rideshare, because 

(a) Very Wealthy people are often the Very Worst, and lots of people -- especially restaurant patrons who want to all drink -- are in that group

(b) the area is absolutely rife with deer, which are not a thing I want to drive around,

(c) the pandemic means no college students (they are usually more fun to talk to and easier to manage, because they are more dependent on rideshare to get around and hence care more about their ratings)

(d) the pandemic means a lot less tipsy high tipping pharma people on an expense account, and

(e) you often get preposterously long ride requests, which usually wipe me out, and take me to places I don't know. Not super safe.

On the other hand, the roads are smooth and you occasionally get a great conversation or tipping. All things being equal, I tend to avoid the area. Not as much as other areas, and not to the point of boycott, but enough.

A word about my car and service. It's currently a 2014 Honda Insight, as immaculate as I can manage with daily obsessive cleaning. It's a hybrid hatchback that gets 48 miles per gallon, and is more than comfortable enough for one to two passengers, or maybe three if one of them is a child. It's also got a heated back seat cover, hand sanitizer, and my rating has been over 4.9 for, like, ever. I've done this for over 17.5K rides, 7K+ hours in the app, and 4+ years. 

I'm good at this. I know what I'm doing. 

Data, not opinion. 

So I roll up to the pick up, and the passenger gets in. She is, um, not small, but it's not a problem. The problem is her two friends. Both guys, both bigger than her, and not folks who can all fit in my back seat.

During the pandemic, sitting in the front seat isn't allowed. I have taken this change to load up the seat with a box of masks for those who don't have one (all hail Costco, but honestly, I'm not real thrilled at handing these out), a dust buster for when I can't get to my car wash, the breath mints and cough drops that I use for comfort and alertness (a cough drop tends to help against yawning, which happens more when you wear a mask all day), and face shields. 

So, I'm using the space. You aren't allowed there. The hustle is not paying me enough to get the virus. I tell the passenger about the policy, and I get a puling little "The driver who brought us here was OK with it."

Well, why didn't you say so earlier? That's more than enough reason for me to disregard my own safety, put myself at risk in case you are a shill that's out to make sure the policy is followed (yes, that happens), and judging by the cumulative weight of what's about to enter my car, stress the shocks and tire pressure. 

Or, well, not. I confirm with the passenger that she needs to order a bigger car (i.e., not the cheapest available Uber, which is how you get a guy in a compact, honestly), and cancel the ride.

Which gets me a raft of sputtering nonsense from a male passenger that got into the car with some difficulty, and is having more of it trying to get out. 

After way more dialogue and sarcasm than necessary, he heaves himself out with a grunt, screams "You shouldn't be doing this" at me, then slams the door for all he's worth. Because that'll teach me the error of my ways for not providing him service!

Oh, and final fun point... since I canceled the ride, I got paid nothing, took the accepted ride rating hit, and was unable to give these charming folks the 3 stars or lower rating that means I'd get to avoid them for any future rides.

One more reason to avoid Princeton, honestly...

The Worst Five Star Rider Ever

A little late on a Thursday night. The ping comes to a Wal-Mart, which is usually a local trip home with groceries. Standard fare, especially during the pandemic. The ride is going a suspiciously long way away though, out into the middle of nowhere, where I'm not going to get any kind of useful ride back. Oh well, life of a hack. Let's ride.

I come up to the front because there is no traffic, and two guys are having an animated conversation. It takes a while for one of them to get in, and the other kind of guides him in. "Thanks again," says my new passenger, and off we go. No groceries or purchases. Well, maybe he works there.

Nope.

Over the next 35 minutes, I get a disjointed ramble of a story about how the passenger had guns pulled on him by police, how various debit cards and SNAP (food stamps) products have fallen through, how you need to take this road and not that road, but he don't judge no one and wow your car sure is clean and nice and just a torrent of everything. He keeps his mask on and isn't actively threatening, but everything about him just screams Meth. Fun.

Long ride. I engage sporadically, just enough so that he thinks I'm on his side, and count the minutes until I can three-star him and get on with my life...

Which is when he then needs a stop at a Wawa on the way. Well, what the hell, my night is shot anyway, and he's been just on the edge enough that the first rule of ride share (Get Home Safely) dictates that I don't piss him off. Also, he's still several miles from his final destination, and if I just drive off, it's going to be some poor Wawa guy's problem, and, likely, a second visit from the po po. 

So I'll give him a minute or two in the store, and if he doesn't come back soon, well... oh, lord. He's arguing with the counter guy. Maybe I'm about to witness a hold up?

Which is when the app pings with a text. "Everything ok? You guys have been stuck there for a while."

Because... the guy at the Wal-Mart who guided him into the car isn't the passenger. He's the guy paying for the ride, so this nutcase can go sleep at whatever he calls home, instead of jail, which was probably what was going to happen at the Wal-Mart before I got there.

And at this point, he gets back in the car. \

With a fresh charge of caffeine and what happened in the store and oh man I'm sorry I spilled my coffee on your nice clean car and I need extra time to get out of the car and... 

I got home safe. 

The car's fine. 

And I didn't rate the Samaritan as low as I wanted to...