5 Things In 10 Seconds

High Fives Not Required

If you want to know how a ride is going to go... 19 times out of 20, it's dictated by the first ten seconds. Because in those seconds, I'm looking for the following tells.

> Promptness. Drivers are paid in three ways: time, distance, and number of rides given (usually through platform bonuses). Two of those three are not helped by waiting for passengers to get into the car, and honestly, time spent is the least important aspect by a wide margin. That doesn't even take into account the added stress of trying to find a safe place to pull over. Honestly, if I had the ability to cancel passengers without a penalty after a minute of waiting, I'd probably take it, especially as passengers receive notifications before the driver gets there. (Yes, I've been a passenger. Not often, but enough.)

So for the riders who seem to delight in getting in at the last possible second before I can collect a cancel fee and get to the next rider, please be aware that your driver -- and yes, I'm speaking for all of us here -- really isn't down with that. Especially when it's a busy period of the day, or if a bunch of other passengers have done the same thing earlier in the shift. (This is also why drivers like to press the arrived button before we get to you. It's not you, it's the world.)

So taking your time to get in the car kind of puts the whole exercise into a poor point before we've even begun. If you can avoid it, don't be late to the pickup, and if you can't, expect your driver to be a little curt. (Which I tend to get past with even the barest hint of a sincere apology, because I'm wired that way, but honestly. Just get in the car already.)

> Interaction Level. If you've got headphones on, or if you are very into your phone, I'm going to assume that you are very engaged with your work or media and are looking for as much of a robot-ready ride as you can get. I'm also going to confirm your address and mention services (water, mints, cough drops) as a matter of standard service, not because I'm looking to distract you.

> Politeness. This is mostly around phone use. Headphones aren't expensive or hard to find, and if your call or game or video can't wait until you are out of the presence of a total stranger... well, actually, it can. My car radio is on because I'm trying to make my work space pleasant for me, not you, and driving with headphones on isn't safe. You are paying for a ride, not a private room. (Especially in shared rides. People who don't care how much they are disliked by fellow passengers scare me, honestly.)

Other than that, I'm reading tone (the passive aggressive "THANK YOU" to cease conversation from the presumed underclass is a real, um, winner) and seeing if you will offer up the first ice breaker.

> Comfort. I currently have the ideal car for ride share for the driver (a fully paid hybrid hatchback), which gives me math advantages on upkeep and gas mileage, while still having a surprising amount of storage capacity. It's not, however, ideal for all passengers, especially if you are bigger or taller than the median. When I sense that folks are not thrilled with the space available, I tend to be more open with value adds (i.e., tips on how to get more out of the platforms), or gregarious in terms of conducting a bit of an interview to add value to your day. This is mostly done to protect my rating, but to be honest, if you have a severe issue with my ride and didn't cancel the request when you see my ride in the app, I don't have a ton of sympathy. My car is what it is, and works perfectly well for the vast majority of riders; if you aren't comfortable in it but don't make the move to get a bigger ride, I'm thinking you are valuing speed over comfort.

> Health. To be blunt about this, no ride share driver is really looking to make a pay day from someone getting sick in their car. The reimbursement levels from the platforms don't really cover what a professional cleaning will cost, especially when you factor in the time off the clock, and if it happens, it's pretty much the end of your shift -- which for a busy or prime period is especially troublesome.

Picking up drunk people is part of the gig, and the eradication of DUI is one of the major benefits that ride share platforms give to society. But if you feel sick, please wait until you do not to call for a ride. The time you spend really isn't worth the risk.