Let's just wait this out

One-way single lane road in a bad part of town. It's late at night, and my pick up is a block away.
Likely one of my last rides of the night.

Problem: can't get to them.

Reason why: a couple is having a police-level argument. 

The man of this is in a beat up old minivan. He's trying to load in a couple of bags into the car while having a screaming match with the woman. She is screaming loud enough to be heard in my car, a good 40 to 50 feet away, and punctuating her points by throwing bottles against the side of the van. He tries to respond in kind with throwing bags at the door, so there is a tactical battle going on to see who can get in the more vocal insult and artillery. 

Meanwhile, time passes. There is no safe way to put int into reverse on a one-way street, as I'd be backing up for a solid 2-3 minutes, and making myself conspicuous. 

Besides, they can't just keep doing this, can they? I mean, they are going to run out of stuff to throw at each other. And neither of them is showing any interest in getting close enough to throw hands. I'm also the wrong size, demographic and am not making nearly enough doing this to get out of my car and try to play peacemaker.

Several more minutes pass, and my man finally grumps off, his windows miraculously intact. Either that, or his beloved wasn't angry enough to aim high, and only wanted to dent the minivan. Who knows what the heart wants, really.

I pick up my passenger, drive him to another great place, turn off the app and go home. All while trying to practice gratitude that it didn't get worse, and that I've never been in a big enough argument to engage in traffic-stopping artillery in public. 

Moving on...

You've got to have fear in your heart

Strip mall in west Trenton, three hours into the shift, late for a weeknight but not late. No one's talking, no one's tipping, no one's paying surge price. It's been like this for most of the week, because the Eagles lost the Super Bowl and the region is depressed. Also, it's February. Get in the car, stare at your phone, and make sure your driver is making as little as possible. Not great.

The pick up is two young women, 15 minute ride to a local college. College kids are usually better than most. They want to know how to save time and money on rides, they are a little better at holding a conversation, they tip more often. So I force myself to be a little chattier than usual, try to engage. They respond just enough to make me feel bad for trying, and as the car gets quiet for the final 2/3rds of the ride as they pray to their phones, this track comes up on my iPod. Specifically, the last few minutes of it.

You've got to have fear in your heart / you've got to have fear in your heart...

Have I offended my passengers? Are they going to be the ones that decide to 1-star me, make some specious accusation, or worse? I've been doing this off and on for six years now, over 25K rides. Eventually, you are going to run into some significant problem of a person. Maybe these are the ones.

I roll up to their drop point. They exit cheerfully and politely. Nothing that was going on in my head or the soundtrack was real.

This time.

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Ten Things I Think, But Do Not Say, When People Say "I'll Tip In The App"

 Pwomise, Daddy, pwomise?

As that's a binding verbal contract and you can tip before the ride is over, I'm just going to lock the doors and wait for you to do that.

Lies make Baby Jesus cry.

Please, Kind Sir? I've Been Ever So Good!

The curse of Allah be on him if he is one of the liars.

Great. Now I've got to write down where you live and come back with protestors if you don't. And that giant inflatable rat smells.

OK, but just the tip.

In John 8:44 we learn that liars are "the children of your father the devil and you love to do the evil things he does." Give me cash now, or tip in the app before you leave the car, if you want to avoid eternal damnation.

How much, exactly? I'll be following up. (cracks knuckles)

The spreadsheet that I keep tells me that 93% of the time, you won't. Surprise me.

Moments from the lawless cities

More of these, I guess

I drive at night, generally. I consult during the day, I'm not a morning person, I like to run when its cooler and quieter out. But this also means I see stuff which, if you piece them together, just create a narrative of society falling apart. Such as:

> An impassioned screed for Alex Jones on a Wawa bathroom wall, answered by diametrically opposed profanity. The next day, it's aggressively bleached.

> Pulling up to a light with a clear no turn on red sign, no hours limitations. Stopping. Driver behind me swerves to the middle lane and drives through the red.

> More or less routine pot smell for passengers, especially the ones that make me wait to get in the car.

> Pulling up to a yellow light turning red. Braking to stop. Driver behind me swerves to middle, runs the red.

> Dirt bike riders without headlights or helmets, driving in packs, disregarding all traffic laws, on sidewalks and everywhere else.

> Male passenger enters the car without wearing a shirt, dictates directions counter to the address or GPS directions, and insists that I pass a stopped police car, rather than consider another route or waiting a minute to make sure we're safe to pass.

> Going to a truck stop bathroom, only to have the guy in the next stall decide it's the time and place to watch his TikTok feed without headphones.

> Routinely getting passed on residential highways posted for 55 and 65 miles per hour by people doing 1.5 to 2X that speed

There's a lot of theories going around as to why this kind of bad behavior is on the rise. Income inequality becoming more strained due to the pandemic and inflation. Climate change stress giving way to a form of nihilism. Police and courts doing less due to the pandemic, body cam footage, or just the simple knowledge that the Uwalde footage showed, which is that cops prioritize going home at the end of the shift over anything else. Racism and classism piggy-backing on any weed odor. And so on.

All that I can tell you from the front lines is that you can tell any story you like. 

But that the negative one always seems to be an easier one to start.